curbside philosophy
autumn_anjel
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Name: Loc
Country: United States
State: New Jersey
Birthday: 8/20/1983
Gender: Male


Interests: simplicity and sincerity
Expertise: jack of all trades..master of none
Occupation: Government
Industry: Government


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Yahoo: autumn_anjel@yahoo.com


Member Since: 11/4/2004

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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

what can be worst than a mind that strapped to procrastination?!!
Dallas is in a week, yet the mountain of "things undone" is steadily increasing in size. daunting. choking my
focus from completely focusing on things here and there.

A man approach me today claiming that his name was "deacon Smith" from some church looking to
help the homeless and orphaned kids. Asking me to sign a petition and donate some money. he smelled of sweat and
a hint of liquor. i was tempted to pull out my last five dollars then i remembered what happened in Atlanta. i regained control. i felt pity
but regained control. i told him that I'd pray for the effort, and i will, but i can't give money. i should've said i didn't want to give
money to strangers anymore. but i didn't. Christian charity must be a reasonable effort. it can't be done on wim or emotionally.
it must be responsible. money corrupts characters and i don't want others to corrupt the charity within me for the sake of
money. i have vowed that i can not be fake about charity. i won't take on the worlds problem. i can't. i will do all i can for those
that God has placed in my life. there are many whom i know personally that has needs. desperate for help. if i haven't given for those
then how can i be so bold to give to a stranger that will have no accountability? God has trusted in my life with those in need, till they are
tended to, i can't look to trust my charity to random strangers that i have yet to determine true want or cause.




Tuesday, June 16, 2009


a series of airport arrivals and departures. conversations about nothing and everything.

what will it be like to be near, i wonder. i hope i don't take any moment or experience or favors for granted. i tend to; and in doing so, tend to lose it all together. this grin will go soon, i think, to be replace with something a little less self-indulgent. an apartment first, a job second, and to never forget the "why" and "what:" and "how come" close behind.

i close my eyes tight. shutting out the thundering doubts and hesitation. i walk forward. holding our promises in one hand and holding on to you with the other.

if i should get lost, look my grinning face at the lost-and-found.


Monday, June 15, 2009

This standing still isn't what I had envisioned but I don't believe I've done all I could to avoid it.
Been years and years since I have build this home, incorporated these many people as a family that surrounds me in it.
Bonds must now break. Taking different shapes and forms. I want to make haste but then also wish to savior and further it just a little more.

There's nothing left here. The promise of tomorrow is now with her. by her side. waiting for me in her smile.

How much have I differ? I don't think much, but then again, one can make an awful measuring stick for himself. Old loyalties I still have,
old focus I still retain. I fear, I might not change fast enough. The dead are the only ones that remains completely unchanged.

God alone has my plans. A bit hard to work ...don't think i'd rather it any other ways though.




Saturday, March 29, 2008





"......love without regrets....."


Wednesday, October 24, 2007


The Spirit's Grief



Ephesians 4:30
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

How greatly my life must grieve the Holy Spirit! I am by no means living a terrible life by worldly standards. I grew up in the home of respectable parents; I was never sent to the principles office in elementary school and I somehow escaped the pressures of drinking, drugs, and premarital sex. Although my father is in law enforcement and restrictions often resembled maximum-security prison, I have never been arrested, convicted, or sent to jail. In fact, I have never even been pulled over for speeding or reckless driving (although that doesn't make me innocent by any standard). Yet in all of this, I fail to live a consistent life resembling that of Ephesians 4:25-32.

What an incredible list of standards outlined for us by the Apostle Paul. Within this short passage he mentions several of the inside struggles so many of us wrestle with on a daily basis. Included in the list is sinful anger, bitterness, and unwholesome talk, just to name a few. Verse 30 reminds me of my Savior's death and resurrection. "Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by who you were sealed for the day of redemption." How easy it is to forget the pain our Lord must feel every time we sin against Him. I by no means agree with the saying, "He feels the nails in His hands every time I sin." The Bible says that He died once and for all for our sins. On the other hand, however, while His physical sufferings are complete, I hesitate to imagine the pain experienced within His heart. Kristie's reminder this week convicts my spirit: "Are you living the life that Christ died to give you?" or are you grieving the Holy Spirit by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption?

I challenge you to read over Ephesians 4:25-32 and ask the Lord to convict you of the different areas in your life where you may be grieving the Holy Spirit. Upon salvation, you become a child of God and struggles such as these, regardless of how often we all partake of them, are unacceptable to the Lord. Once reading over the passage and allowing the Holy Spirit to search through your innermost being, I challenge you to make a commitment to the Lord. Single out the sin that grieves the Spirit the most and ask God for conviction every time you fall into temptation. Never forget that Jesus died that you might live. There is a road less traveled; not all have access to it, but those who do should by all means take it. What are you waiting for? There must arrive a day that Christ becomes more than just a name on paper but a way of life!

Today could be that day. I urge you: do not grieve the Spirit but seek Him for conviction.

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i read it through and i felt like it spoke right at me.



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